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What's Normal? Baby Showers, when did this become a Co-Ed event? (2 Viewers)

Ministry of Pain

Footballguy
My son and daughter in law are expecting their 1st child and our 1st grand baby sometime in the middle of July
This weekend they are having a baby shower and I misread this one completely

-1st of all, I live 4 hours away and have to be there Saturday for a 12-3 party on Mother's Day weekend
Hotels in St Pete range from $200-$300 for anything decent. I figured that plus gas plus a gift, I'll just write. nice little check that I would have spent on all that and they should be happy

-The things that came flying out of my son's mouth included but should not be limited to the following...
"It's a celebration of your grand daughter pre-life"
"You're her only grandfather" There is no father on my daughter in law side of the family so yes technically I'll be her only grandfather
"If you think I care about money, you are sorely mistaken" He would rather I be there in person and forego any gifts

They have over 75 people expected this Saturday, some are coming in from out of town.
I guess I want to know when this thing elevated from an event you typically see mostly women sitting around shrieking over gifts and crying over little pink booty shoes
What are the men supposed to be doing while all this is unfolding? I don't think they will take kindly to me lighting up a stogie and having a sip from the flask
Should I bring a deck of cards for the back corner? All of his friends from the wedding are going to be there, I like the young ones that stood in as his groomsmen, they're all cool, we play in FF together
It's the AD-Ults that will be roaming around that I don't really want to get into much discussion with.

-Despite my son and I not having a meaningful relationship until he looked me up when he was 17, there's more to it than that but I'm giving the cliff notes version
I take responsibility for my errors, it's partly why we have a strong bond now and I believe it irks a lot of the adults that were around him growing up.
I don't want to do anything that will damage that and I feel like if I don't change course here quickly and go this weekend.

I didn't know a baby shower could be such a big deal and it caught me off guard this week.
My son wants me there for support, my daughter in law has sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, grannies,
My son has a few folks from his side and his local friends but he likes it when Dad is around
I just thought I could give them some cash and push off to the delivery date in July, be ready to get to the hospital.
Isn't the delivery/birth a lot bigger than the baby shower?

I can already hear Mrs R giving me the riot act amongst others...I want to go, I do after speaking with him. I didn't know it was that important
 
I'd mirror nirad3 and say go. Smile, guess which candy is in the diaper, and be there for him. It sounds like a good chance to continue building that bond and it looks like its a good sign that he wants you there.

I also understand the difficulty in going 4 hours away for it. But its also family and if you are close, or trying to be, sometimes its just better to suck it up. Believe me, I am not a fan of these things, I definitely would be the one trying to blend in to the background. But being there seems like it would be enough.
 
Sorry man, just go to the party. Co-ed baby showers are nothing new and from what you posted, it sounds like something you should attend. Maybe that's just my :2cents:
my kid is almost 18 and our shower for him was co-ed.... so, not new. (and I doubt we were at the forefront of this).

it's a party, to support and honor your kid who wants you there. honor and support your kid, and party like it's 1999.
 
Definitely go. It's a time to be with family. Take the opportunity.

For the few co-ed showers I have been too it is kind of like two parties. The girls do baby shower stuff and the guys hang out and drink, watch the game, BBQ or similar depending on the food aspects. Play some cornhole, etc. But that is because that is what we liked to do. I don't know if this would be applicable without knowing the type of people running the show.

ETA: There are of course dumb baby shower games that they make the guys do too (dumbest was drinking beer out of a baby bottle). That usually was scheduled in at some point to make us all look stupid.
 
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Another thing is the registry where they had items they wanted, that's all sold out or others have already bought them

-His mom bought a $700 stroller with a detachable car seat
Mind you this woman doesn't have 2 nickels to rub together so nobody knows where she steals these things from
My son was hesitant to tell me, had to almost drag it out of him but then I looked up this stroller, kinda not that great if you ask me, especially for the price

So in July when my grand daughter arrives I want to give them this

-I think that looks a lot better and also more useful for my son when he gets to see the baby at the end of a hard days work and just wants to take a quick stroll with her and not have to pull the baby seat out of the car to attach back to that other stroller.
 
Your son wants you there. That is awesome. Go.
This is the correct answer to this thread. And don't worry about what his mom does because expressing concern will just make your son uncomfortable. Be glad the kid has two loving parents and keep whatever she did to you to yourself. Just ****ing sit through it with a smile regardless of how awful it is.

In general, though, coed baby showers are the worst. I attended one once. Never again (unless it's my kid's or something). So boring and stupid.
 
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Another thing is the registry where they had items they wanted, that's all sold out or others have already bought them

-His mom bought a $700 stroller with a detachable car seat
Mind you this woman doesn't have 2 nickels to rub together so nobody knows where she steals these things from
My son was hesitant to tell me, had to almost drag it out of him but then I looked up this stroller, kinda not that great if you ask me, especially for the price

So in July when my grand daughter arrives I want to give them this

-I think that looks a lot better and also more useful for my son when he gets to see the baby at the end of a hard days work and just wants to take a quick stroll with her and not have to pull the baby seat out of the car to attach back to that other stroller.
Ugh this is so petty. Please don't try to one-up her. Act like the adult here.
 
I'd mirror nirad3 and say go. Smile, guess which candy is in the diaper, and be there for him. It sounds like a good chance to continue building that bond and it looks like its a good sign that he wants you there.

I also understand the difficulty in going 4 hours away for it. But its also family and if you are close, or trying to be, sometimes its just better to suck it up. Believe me, I am not a fan of these things, I definitely would be the one trying to blend in to the background. But being there seems like it would be enough.
Ugh so stupid... :shudder:

But, yeah, go regardless.
 
I have never attended a baby shower.

Ever.

Not even my own wifes shower and she also never expected me to.

I was expected to pick her up and pack all the gifts into the suv.

But if my son asked me to be at his wife’s baby shower (if he has one in the distant future) I would be there no questions asked.

Just go. You won’t regret it.
 
ETA: There are of course dumb baby shower games that they make the guys do too (dumbest was drinking beer out of a baby bottle). That usually was scheduled in at some point to make us all look stupid.
This is why these are a thing now. Most women don't actually want to go these things, so they figure the men might as well be miserable too.

They HATE the idea of their men having a chill day on the golf course or in front of the TV while they're forced to play dumb baby shower games.

Always great when they give ya the "Oh its just gonna be a fun party" line....

That being said, OP has to go.
 
Baby showers hosted at <your favorite grill and bar> on a Saturday afternoon are great.

EDIT: They are great for eating, drinking, and a little socializing. If you have to play stupid games, sorry.
 
ETA: There are of course dumb baby shower games that they make the guys do too (dumbest was drinking beer out of a baby bottle). That usually was scheduled in at some point to make us all look stupid.
This is why these are a thing now. Most women don't actually want to go these things, so they figure the men might as well be miserable too.

They HATE the idea of their men having a chill day on the golf course or in front of the TV while they're forced to play dumb baby shower games.

Always great when they give ya the "Oh its just gonna be a fun party" line....

That being said, OP has to go.
Thank you for reminding me why I love my wife. She asked me to go once (back when we were dating) and she realized how ****ing miserable it was for me. She's green lit the golf/softball/etc. instead since.
 
Another thing is the registry where they had items they wanted, that's all sold out or others have already bought them

-His mom bought a $700 stroller with a detachable car seat
Mind you this woman doesn't have 2 nickels to rub together so nobody knows where she steals these things from
My son was hesitant to tell me, had to almost drag it out of him but then I looked up this stroller, kinda not that great if you ask me, especially for the price

So in July when my grand daughter arrives I want to give them this

-I think that looks a lot better and also more useful for my son when he gets to see the baby at the end of a hard days work and just wants to take a quick stroll with her and not have to pull the baby seat out of the car to attach back to that other stroller.
What happened to strollers??!!

My oldest daughter is pregnant, first kid, first grandkid for my wife and I... she was talking about $700 strollers and I was like WTF?? She says, "That's not even an expensive one!"

Weren't strollers like $50?
 
Strollers and car seats, like most things, are now higher tech and therefore have a wide range of price options. This shouldn't be surprising. There's obviously a market to higher earning parents.

The bigger point to be made here is that our hero "Minestrone" (shout out to @SWC ) should not be trying to one up his son's other parent by buying a superior stroller.
 
-I think that looks a lot better and also more useful for my son when he gets to see the baby at the end of a hard days work and just wants to take a quick stroll with her and not have to pull the baby seat out of the car to attach back to that other stroller.

The stroller with a carseat is a must have. So convenient to not have to take the baby out and put it into the stroller. Just press 1 button release the carseat from the car, unfold the stroller, click in.

My younger siblings and my wife's younger siblings both went with the same design.


Most parents probably want at least 2 strollers, and maybe 3. You want the carseat stroller for everyday, you want a jogging stroller for trips to zoo, and then an umbrella stroller for when you need to pack it.
 
Another thing is the registry where they had items they wanted, that's all sold out or others have already bought them

-His mom bought a $700 stroller with a detachable car seat
Mind you this woman doesn't have 2 nickels to rub together so nobody knows where she steals these things from
My son was hesitant to tell me, had to almost drag it out of him but then I looked up this stroller, kinda not that great if you ask me, especially for the price

So in July when my grand daughter arrives I want to give them this

-I think that looks a lot better and also more useful for my son when he gets to see the baby at the end of a hard days work and just wants to take a quick stroll with her and not have to pull the baby seat out of the car to attach back to that other stroller.
What happened to strollers??!!

My oldest daughter is pregnant, first kid, first grandkid for my wife and I... she was talking about $700 strollers and I was like WTF?? She says, "That's not even an expensive one!"

Weren't strollers like $50?
yes. back when frankfurters cost a nickel and you had to custom order the feather for your fedora.
 
-I think that looks a lot better and also more useful for my son when he gets to see the baby at the end of a hard days work and just wants to take a quick stroll with her and not have to pull the baby seat out of the car to attach back to that other stroller.

The stroller with a carseat is a must have. So convenient to not have to take the baby out and put it into the stroller. Just press 1 button release the carseat from the car, unfold the stroller, click in.

My younger siblings and my wife's younger siblings both went with the same design.


Most parents probably want at least 2 strollers, and maybe 3. You want the carseat stroller for everyday, you want a jogging stroller for trips to zoo, and then an umbrella stroller for when you need to pack it.
Yep. I got to enjoy all of this with double strollers... probably worked an extra 50 hours to pay for them all.
 
-I think that looks a lot better and also more useful for my son when he gets to see the baby at the end of a hard days work and just wants to take a quick stroll with her and not have to pull the baby seat out of the car to attach back to that other stroller.

The stroller with a carseat is a must have. So convenient to not have to take the baby out and put it into the stroller. Just press 1 button release the carseat from the car, unfold the stroller, click in.

My younger siblings and my wife's younger siblings both went with the same design.


Most parents probably want at least 2 strollers, and maybe 3. You want the carseat stroller for everyday, you want a jogging stroller for trips to zoo, and then an umbrella stroller for when you need to pack it.
my kids are 13 and 17, so I'm sure things have changed, but basically this.

car-seat stroller for when they were babies, at which point you move on to one of two others- umbrella folding lightweight (mcclarren?) for when you're mobile, and the SUV stroller for when you're moving around near the house/apt.

eta: SUV was something called a bugaboo. $7-800 iirc. Mcclaren was 200 +/-
 
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The bigger point to be made here is that our hero "Minestrone" (shout out to @SWC ) should not be trying to one up his son's other parent by buying a superior stroller.
The other thing is that since there are so many options and everyone has their own preference don't go off script getting them one they didn't pick out. There are reasons they chose the one they chose. Don't get them something they didn't want.
 
i feel like sometimes you make things so much more difficult than they need to be your son asked you to go and told you it was more important to him than money so you go and do it with bells on and then you wonder if you should use what is obviously an important date to your son as a chance to pick a fight with his mom i mean man come on one of my main rules in life is dont be a laroosh and that clearly violates the rule stuff like this you get one shot to do it right and if you dont you are the story and it is a bad one for the rest of your son and grandchilds life i mean do you want people in 10 years when your grandkid is with it saying yeah that the was shower where ministrone went all ministrone or do you want your kid and grandkid to have a memory about you where they bring it up as a good thing when they are laying you to rest thats how to view this and adjust your behavior accordingly take that to the bank bromigo
 

My kids are 7/9, so it has been about 4 years since i have last used a stroller, that one does not look good for a jogging stroller. I even like the Thule brand as they make bike and ski racks for cars.

You want a jogging stroller where you can lock/unlock the front tire. On yours it stays permanently in the locked position, which would only be good if they were training for running a marathon with their kids.


I am not recommending the below stroller, it is one i grabbed at random, however it has the lockable/unlockable front tire.

 
All the guys came to our son's shower. We played some of the funny games (which parent is more likely to _____) and mostly hung out.

My buddy just had theirs, all the guys went to like a professional go kart racing track for the afternoon it was fun.
 
I have a 14 month old and a 4 month old. Consequently I have a LOT of thoughts about strollers.

I love ours. We have one that holds them both and is also very easy to configure all sorts of ways (it could do just one, both in seats, one in bassinet one in a seat, one in a car seat and the other in a real sear, etc) and then we have a travel stroller that folds down in less than one second to the size of a large briefcase and slides into the overhead bin!

Love it.
 
i feel like sometimes you make things so much more difficult than they need to be your son asked you to go and told you it was more important to him than money so you go and do it with bells on and then you wonder if you should use what is obviously an important date to your son as a chance to pick a fight with his mom i mean man come on one of my main rules in life is dont be a laroosh and that clearly violates the rule stuff like this you get one shot to do it right and if you dont you are the story and it is a bad one for the rest of your son and grandchilds life i mean do you want people in 10 years when your grandkid is with it saying yeah that the was shower where ministrone went all ministrone or do you want your kid and grandkid to have a memory about you where they bring it up as a good thing when they are laying you to rest thats how to view this and adjust your behavior accordingly take that to the bank bromigo
Are you available for hire to speak with family law litigants?
 
I have never attended a baby shower.

Ever.

Not even my own wifes shower and she also never expected me to.

I was expected to pick her up and pack all the gifts into the suv.

But if my son asked me to be at his wife’s baby shower (if he has one in the distant future) I would be there no questions asked.

Just go. You won’t regret it.
Same
 
ALSO, Gifts: Diapers and wipes. Anything else is an overthought.
Eh, from the grandparents though? I could see the big ticket items ($500+) like strollers,* cribs, a nursing/rocking chair, and car seats coming from the grandparents.

But yeah for friends diapers and wipes (and maybe pacifiers) are all that is needed.

*So long as one grandparent isn't buying a better one to one-up the other.
 
ALSO, Gifts: Diapers and wipes. Anything else is an overthought.
Eh, from the grandparents though? I could see the big ticket items ($500+) like strollers,* cribs, a nursing/rocking chair, and car seats coming from the grandparents.

But yeah for friends diapers and wipes (and maybe pacifiers) are all that is needed.

*So long as one grandparent isn't buying a better one to one-up the other.
Oh yeah, grandparents and aunts are exempt. But your peers, diapers and wipes.
 
ETA: There are of course dumb baby shower games that they make the guys do too (dumbest was drinking beer out of a baby bottle). That usually was scheduled in at some point to make us all look stupid.
This is why these are a thing now. Most women don't actually want to go these things, so they figure the men might as well be miserable too.

They HATE the idea of their men having a chill day on the golf course or in front of the TV while they're forced to play dumb baby shower games.

Always great when they give ya the "Oh its just gonna be a fun party" line....

That being said, OP has to go.
Thank you for reminding me why I love my wife. She asked me to go once (back when we were dating) and she realized how ****ing miserable it was for me. She's green lit the golf/softball/etc. instead since.

I read this too quickly at first and thought, “He really needs to thank his wife.” I thought you were saying that the excuse she gave the group got you out of it, but I see you know that it’s totally her. That’s who makes or breaks it.

You young guys reading (if there are any) take note because this is the stuff that matters in life. Try and suss this out before marriage. So crucial. Zow/Woz, you ought give your wife a hug when you get home tonight.
 
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ETA: There are of course dumb baby shower games that they make the guys do too (dumbest was drinking beer out of a baby bottle). That usually was scheduled in at some point to make us all look stupid.
This is why these are a thing now. Most women don't actually want to go these things, so they figure the men might as well be miserable too.

They HATE the idea of their men having a chill day on the golf course or in front of the TV while they're forced to play dumb baby shower games.

Always great when they give ya the "Oh its just gonna be a fun party" line....

That being said, OP has to go.
Thank you for reminding me why I love my wife. She asked me to go once (back when we were dating) and she realized how ****ing miserable it was for me. She's green lit the golf/softball/etc. instead since.

I read this too quickly at first and thought, “He really needs to thank his wife.” I thought you were saying that the excuse she gave the group got you out of it, but I see you know that it’s totally her. That’s who makes or breaks it.

You young guys reading (if there are any) take note because this is the stuff that matters in life. Try and suss this out before marriage. So crucial. Zow/Woz, you ought give your wife a hug when you get home tonight.

A friend of mine who is on talk radio did a segment a couple weeks ago in which he discussed how much time, money and effort parents put into their kids’ education to set them up for a successful career, when far and away the most important decision one can make in having a successful career (and a successful life) is their choice in a spouse.
 
ETA: There are of course dumb baby shower games that they make the guys do too (dumbest was drinking beer out of a baby bottle). That usually was scheduled in at some point to make us all look stupid.
This is why these are a thing now. Most women don't actually want to go these things, so they figure the men might as well be miserable too.

They HATE the idea of their men having a chill day on the golf course or in front of the TV while they're forced to play dumb baby shower games.

Always great when they give ya the "Oh its just gonna be a fun party" line....

That being said, OP has to go.
Thank you for reminding me why I love my wife. She asked me to go once (back when we were dating) and she realized how ****ing miserable it was for me. She's green lit the golf/softball/etc. instead since.

I read this too quickly at first and thought, “He really needs to thank his wife.” I thought you were saying that the excuse she gave the group got you out of it, but I see you know that it’s totally her. That’s who makes or breaks it.

You young guys reading (if there are any) take note because this is the stuff that matters in life. Try and suss this out before marriage. So crucial. Zow/Woz, you ought give your wife a hug when you get home tonight.

A friend of mine who is on talk radio did a segment a couple weeks ago in which he discussed how much time, money and effort parents put into their kids’ education to set them up for a successful career, when far and away the most important decision one can make in having a successful career (and a successful life) is their choice in a spouse.
And, in terms of setting up their kid for a successful, I'd add how he or she treats their spouse.
 
-Despite my son and I not having a meaningful relationship until he looked me up when he was 17, there's more to it than that but I'm giving the cliff notes version

My son wants me there for support, my daughter in law has sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, grannies,
My son has a few folks from his side and his local friends but he likes it when Dad is around
These are the only important parts of what you posted. Go to the shower.

Buy the cutest plush toy you can find. I'll vet it if you want. Melt DIL's heart.

Something like this would be ideal. Lots of other good choices here.
 
First of all, Congrats Old Man.
Second, I have only been to one coed baby shower. In the late 70s we went to one with some friends. We did not know the people, but my fondest memory was everyone toasting and then slamming their glass into the fireplace. I don't remember much else.
Third, I don't know much about strollers. In my neighborhood of mostly retired people, most of the strollers I see have little dogs in them.
Fourth, be glad it is only a stroller. We have a granddaughter that just turned 17 and needs a car. We already bought them for her two older siblings.
Fifth, Go Dam it and have a good time.
 
ALSO, Gifts: Diapers and wipes. Anything else is an overthought.
Eh, from the grandparents though? I could see the big ticket items ($500+) like strollers,* cribs, a nursing/rocking chair, and car seats coming from the grandparents.

But yeah for friends diapers and wipes (and maybe pacifiers) are all that is needed.

*So long as one grandparent isn't buying a better one to one-up the other.
I'll add other things that we and friends have found helpful:

- sleep sack starter kit (it has like the 3-4 different styles, some babies can't sleep in one or sleep better in another, then you sell or give away the ones they dont like and add extra ones they do)
- bottle starter kit (different ones work better for different babies, bottle and nipple, gassiness, etc)
- extra carseat base (you don't need two carrier style carseats, but it's nice to be able to stick it in either car easily)
 
Another thing is the registry where they had items they wanted, that's all sold out or others have already bought them

-His mom bought a $700 stroller with a detachable car seat
Mind you this woman doesn't have 2 nickels to rub together so nobody knows where she steals these things from
My son was hesitant to tell me, had to almost drag it out of him but then I looked up this stroller, kinda not that great if you ask me, especially for the price

So in July when my grand daughter arrives I want to give them this

-I think that looks a lot better and also more useful for my son when he gets to see the baby at the end of a hard days work and just wants to take a quick stroll with her and not have to pull the baby seat out of the car to attach back to that other stroller.
Ugh this is so petty. Please don't try to one-up her. Act like the adult here.
No
-I already wanted to get him a stroller, it was never going to be one of these car seats and strollers in one.
I want him to feel like he still has the freedom to take off on a walk any time he wants, I'm also not presenting it at the shower, I'm going to give it to him at the birth which isn't for 2 months
I don't think it's 1-up, completely different stroller and meant for a purpose
It will allow for terrific bonding with his daughter plus I'll use it anytime I visit as well
 
I wouldnt go. Your kid is being dumb.
You are an official member of the MoP Army and thank you for your support
:wink:


-I'm with you except I don't think it's an isolated thing, seems to be generational, he's 25
Mostly my son is an against the grain type, works hard and owns a home, he's not a victim, that mindset is not as common as you think, I've met some of the others his age
 
Baby showers hosted at <your favorite grill and bar> on a Saturday afternoon are great.

EDIT: They are great for eating, drinking, and a little socializing. If you have to play stupid games, sorry.
NO ALCOHOL!, it's being held at a private hall or event place, NO ALCOHOL permitted inside
My Daughter In law's Mother, another favorite of mine, she left the father of my Daughter In law on the wedding night because she caught him having a little booze
Here is another one that doesn't have 2 nickels to rub together AND...AND...AND here is the best part, she lived with my son and daughter in law for FREE all the way thru the wedding last year
She was finally moved out just before the holidays last year, hard to describe my feelings about all these folks

My son said there will be an after party I'm expected to attend and partly spearhead.
I was in charge of the after parties at the wedding, at the rehearsal dinner, looks like again on the baby shower
It's like the 12-3 party is some kind of charade for everyone and then the real party will be back at their crib later that night with a lot less folks
His mother and most of those types won't be anywhere near the after party
 
-I think that looks a lot better and also more useful for my son when he gets to see the baby at the end of a hard days work and just wants to take a quick stroll with her and not have to pull the baby seat out of the car to attach back to that other stroller.

The stroller with a carseat is a must have. So convenient to not have to take the baby out and put it into the stroller. Just press 1 button release the carseat from the car, unfold the stroller, click in.

My younger siblings and my wife's younger siblings both went with the same design.


Most parents probably want at least 2 strollers, and maybe 3. You want the carseat stroller for everyday, you want a jogging stroller for trips to zoo, and then an umbrella stroller for when you need to pack it.
OK, so I'm not out in left field or wanting to 1-up by purchasing a different stroller that is designed more to be used outside on walks and jogs or going to the zoo
Thank You
 
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