Maybe if you prettied yourself up a bit it'd happen, sweetie.Just being polite
I've walked around the streets of NYC for at least 10 hours and not one person has ever said "Damn baby how you doin?" to me.
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Woman gets 100 cat calls in 10 hours in NYC (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Das Boot
- Start date
SHIZNITTTT
Footballguy
I guess if it happens once they will think it will happen again. Once is all they need I guess.
Ted Mullins
Footballguy
God bless you mami
ILUVBEER99
Footballguy
Have the guys sitting on the sidewalk saying, "hey girl" or something like that to passing woman ever had success with that approach? Just can't imagine that ever working unless the woman is a hooker or something.
CletiusMaximus
Footballguy
This is just a big city reality. In smaller cities or towns, its acceptable and even expected to greet strangers out in public. In big cities, one quickly learns the best practice is to ignore. Any acknowledgement of a stranger on the street, particularly derelicts like many of these guys, is only inviting further unwanted interaction and harassment.I can't remember the last time I actually said something to a stranger as they walked by on the sidewalk. I make eye contact and smile from time to time, but I've never said anything unless it's holding a door or getting on an elevator.I'm not talking about these dooshes. I'm speaking to Clifford's post that says we should all look at our feet and not say anything to anyone unless we get clear signals. That is stupid.This is awful. I get there are a lot of dooshes out there, but are we really turning into a society that just needs to ignore everyone else just to be polite.I saw the opposite on my feed. My response is (and I never do this crap anyway) just don't comment on a woman's appearance, and don't even say hi unless you get a friendly glance. Women should not have to endure what this woman went through on this video, and let's face it, saying hi or good evening to a woman on the street doesn't do the man any good 99.9% of the time. So just stop, ignore women you don't know unless it's a social situation and you have a signal.Somebody posted this on FB and the overwhelming majority of the replies were women saying how the majority of the men were NOT over the line and the girl in the vid came off bad.I saw a bunch of guys who were truly wondering how she was doing. She seems to be anti-social.
Oh come on, you think that these guys are like Walmart greeters and just saying hi to every person that passes them on the sidewalk all day to be friendly? Do you think it's even reasonable to say hi to everyone you see in a big city?
I grew up in the suburbs/rural area in Middle America. I always lamented the loss of civility and rudeness in areas like NYC. I looked down on them for being rude and selfish. Then I actually went to NYC for the first time and realized just how many freaking people there are there. If I tried to be polite and say hi to everyone I walked past, I'd not only look like a lunatic, I'd be exhausted in about 5 minutes. Hihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihi. So you put a smile on your face and if someone makes eye contact and smiles back you give a polite "hi" or head nod or something. If you take the time to single someone out that has showed no interest in you at all and hasn't even acknowledged you, and say something to them, it becomes very personal and a simple "hi" takes on more meaning.
Jackstraw
Footballguy
Man if you can't tell the difference between engaging someone in a conversation in a natural way and trying to force yourself to be acknowledged on the street, you probably need a helmut on a daily basis.
It's pretty much the equivalent of those jackholes in Vegas and at resorts that hunt you down and try to make you listen to their spiel about their free crap if you just go look at their timeshare. I want to crush each of those dudes in their stupid faces but I basically walk by stonefaced like the lady on the video.
Those guys aren't being polite, they are manipulating you. You don't want to talk to them. They know you don't want to talk to them, but they still try to take advantage of your politeness to force you to talk to them.
If that's to nuanced for you to get then its probably time for some self reflection.
It's pretty much the equivalent of those jackholes in Vegas and at resorts that hunt you down and try to make you listen to their spiel about their free crap if you just go look at their timeshare. I want to crush each of those dudes in their stupid faces but I basically walk by stonefaced like the lady on the video.
Those guys aren't being polite, they are manipulating you. You don't want to talk to them. They know you don't want to talk to them, but they still try to take advantage of your politeness to force you to talk to them.
If that's to nuanced for you to get then its probably time for some self reflection.
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Thunderlips
Footballguy
I knew a guy who used to flat out ask passerby girls, "Hey, you Fu#### today?". Needless to say, he used to get favorable responses and numbers sometimes.Bucky86 said:
cstu
Footballguy
Anywhere they might be interested in meeting someone. Not on the street when they are trying to get somewhere without being harassed.
How would you feel if it was your mom/sister/wife/daughter?
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Limp Ditka
Footballguy
A helmut?
jonessed
Footballguy
I suspect some of them consider what they are doing a complement.ILUVBEER99 said:
It doesn't matter though. Nothing is going to change any of this. It's not like you can arrest them and you aren't going to shame them into changing. It's just something women will have to deal with.
I can't think of anyone I know that would actually do this. A hello maybe, but that's about it.
cstu
Footballguy
iamsmilin
I want one, but I'm not creative
My freshman year in college we had this one girl on my floor introduce us to her boyfriend, who was the picture of thug while she was a cute blond chick. I asked her later how they met, she told me that he nodded to her from his car when he pulled up next to her and asked her if she wanted to hang out. She actually pulled over and talked with the guy. True story.Bucky86 said:
Black Box
Footballguy
He's all enlightened with the women, but he has some growing to do when it comes to the mentally handicapped.
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Black Box
Footballguy
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
iamsmilin
I want one, but I'm not creative
Koya
Footballguy
FWIW, my wife, whose been cat called plenty of times (I'm a Fbg after all) said she was harassed twice in that video.
"You aren't going to stop free speech and that's what these guys were doing. It's not harassment, it's being hit on." She said
PS - she noted that 100 times in TEN hours is not THAT much. I realised, it's once every 6 min. Then again, this chick is hardly hot.
"You aren't going to stop free speech and that's what these guys were doing. It's not harassment, it's being hit on." She said
PS - she noted that 100 times in TEN hours is not THAT much. I realised, it's once every 6 min. Then again, this chick is hardly hot.
El Floppo
Footballguy
Christo said:Maybe if you prettied yourself up a bit it'd happen, sweetie.Just being polite
I've walked around the streets of NYC for at least 10 hours and not one person has ever said "Damn baby how you doin?" to me.
I don't believe you don't get hit on all the time.Christo said:Maybe if you prettied yourself up a bit it'd happen, sweetie.Just being polite
I've walked around the streets of NYC for at least 10 hours and not one person has ever said "Damn baby how you doin?" to me.
El Floppo
Footballguy
I don't believe you don't get hit on all the time.Christo said:Maybe if you prettied yourself up a bit it'd happen, sweetie.Just being polite
I've walked around the streets of NYC for at least 10 hours and not one person has ever said "Damn baby how you doin?" to me.
mr fancypants
Footballguy
Agree on the not hotness, I'm just wondering if the woman in the video purposely chose certain neighborhoods to stroll
around in where her ample size would be more appreciated and try to elicit such "catcalls" for the purpose of making
this video. I didn't really notice her strolling around Otis's (wall street) working neighborhood, in which case she may
have been totally ignored.
G
Guest
Guest
Pots
Footballguy
It's OK regardless the reason. It just so happens that reason is a better reason than most.
Das Boot
Footballguy
How should men approach women?
By Todd Leopold, CNN
updated 7:01 PM EDT, Wed October 29, 2014
(CNN) -- Remember the obnoxious guy in the early-'80s Mr. Microphone commercial? While cruising in a convertible with his friends, he uses the old Ronco toy to come on to a pedestrian.
"Hey, good lookin', we'll be back to pick you up later!" he yells.
Smooth move, Ex-Lax. This is not the way you approach a woman on the street.
That point was brought home this week with a video posted by Rob Bliss on behalf of the anti-street-harassment group Hollaback! Bliss, inspired by the experiences of his girlfriend, tracked a volunteer, Shoshana B. Roberts, as she walked through New York over the course of 10 hours.
What 10 hours of street harassment in NYC looks like
Over the course of the video, men offer Roberts greetings such as "Damn!", "Hey baby," "What's up, beautiful?" and "Sexy." A few men follow her for blocks. Others seem offended that she doesn't respond.
The reaction on the Internet has ranged from perplexity to outright anger.
"Unless one of these guys physical assaults you then they have every right especially if you don't tell them to leave you alone. It doesn't f****** matter if it's scary or if it offends people," wrote one commenter on the video's YouTube page.
"I call bullsh*t. New wave feminazi persecution complex professional victim bullsh*t," added another.
On a Reddit thread about the video, one person asked, "If a guy can't open a conversation with 'How are you doing today?' then what is he supposed to open it with?"
Good question.
Being a nuisance
There can be a fine line between flirtation and harassment, and it's been used for comic effect in movies and television shows.
"Has anyone ever told you that you have the face of a Botticelli and the body of a Degas?" asked Robert Downey Jr. in the 1987 movie "The Pick-Up Artist."
Sure, there are men and women who sometimes do want a quick fling with a passer-by. For them, maybe come-ons and catcalls work.
Still, only in a romantic comedy -- albeit one written and directed by the shrewd and flinty James Toback -- would Downey's character make women swoon. As Chris Rock has noted, "Every time a man's being nice to you, all he's doing is offering d**k."
Which is why would-be lotharios should tread lightly.
"You almost never approach it," said Troy Patterson, Slate's urbane Gentleman Scholar columnist. "Almost always, the guy is going to be making a nuisance of himself. I can't see a reason to ever greet a strange woman with anything more intrusive than a quiet, warm smile."
Women have been saying this for years, of course.
"Street harassment has a negative effect on us all. No single man wants the actions of a few to be attributed to his entire gender, but studies show that male harassers impact victims' perception and reaction to men in general," wrote Katie Baker in a 2010 essay.
Baker observed that one catcaller was caught off-guard when a woman called him on his behavior. The man, abashed, said that he understood: He had sisters, and he wouldn't want them treated the same way.
'Talk to her, not at her'
Baker offers a simple solution: respect.
"There's a huge difference between harassing a woman and trying to start a conversation," she wrote. "Here are some tips: talk to her, not at her. Treat her with respect: be aware of her personal space, ask her how she's doing or what she's reading instead of commenting on her body parts, look at her face instead of her chest. If she ignores you, drops eye contact, or walks away, back off.
"It wasn't rude of you to approach her, but she's not being rude if she doesn't want to keep talking to you, especially if you initiated conversation while she was running an errand, waiting for the bus, or on her computer at a coffee shop."
Manuel Abril, an activist and filmmaker who serves on the board of StopStreetHarassment.org, points out that the problem is one of dehumanization.
"It's not taking (women's) word at face value," he said. "Men are socialized to think that women don't really say what they mean."
Moreover, he adds, society tends to judge women the way they dress.
"We're taught not to see women as human beings on the street," Abril said. "The way they look totally supersedes their humanity."
Opinion: Attention, men: Stop with the catcalls
A way for 'dudes to blow off steam'?
Not all greetings are out of bounds. There is the matter of context, Patterson says.
Early-morning runners and dog-walkers may offer courteous "good mornings" to one another as if they're part of a big club, while doormen and shopkeepers don't lose points for an appropriate, welcoming attitude.
But commenting on a woman's form as she walks past? Not acceptable. Even the reaction men sometimes see -- a smile -- can be a defense mechanism to get the comments to stop, says Abril.
So why make comments at all?
"Catcalling is, in general, a way to relieve boredom during a dull workday and establish 'hey we are all straight!' amongst guys working together," a "Guysourcing" contributor explained to Jezebel. "It wasn't an attempt to hit on the woman or to be threatening. It was just a way for the dudes to blow off a bit of steam and be like 'We are men!' "
On the Reddit thread, which has drawn more than 6,500 comments, one man observed that lack of respect knows no gender.
"As a fat guy who once walked around NYC for a day sightseeing I got so many comments," he wrote. "'Lose weight, ###***e!' 'Hey fatty want me to buy you a hot dog?' 'Hey kill yourself you fat f***' I would have been happy with just a 'good morning.' "
In the right context, so would most people.
"If your baseline value is showing respect to all people, everything will be OK," Patterson said.
By Todd Leopold, CNN
updated 7:01 PM EDT, Wed October 29, 2014
(CNN) -- Remember the obnoxious guy in the early-'80s Mr. Microphone commercial? While cruising in a convertible with his friends, he uses the old Ronco toy to come on to a pedestrian.
"Hey, good lookin', we'll be back to pick you up later!" he yells.
Smooth move, Ex-Lax. This is not the way you approach a woman on the street.
That point was brought home this week with a video posted by Rob Bliss on behalf of the anti-street-harassment group Hollaback! Bliss, inspired by the experiences of his girlfriend, tracked a volunteer, Shoshana B. Roberts, as she walked through New York over the course of 10 hours.
What 10 hours of street harassment in NYC looks like
Over the course of the video, men offer Roberts greetings such as "Damn!", "Hey baby," "What's up, beautiful?" and "Sexy." A few men follow her for blocks. Others seem offended that she doesn't respond.
The reaction on the Internet has ranged from perplexity to outright anger.
"Unless one of these guys physical assaults you then they have every right especially if you don't tell them to leave you alone. It doesn't f****** matter if it's scary or if it offends people," wrote one commenter on the video's YouTube page.
"I call bullsh*t. New wave feminazi persecution complex professional victim bullsh*t," added another.
On a Reddit thread about the video, one person asked, "If a guy can't open a conversation with 'How are you doing today?' then what is he supposed to open it with?"
Good question.
Being a nuisance
There can be a fine line between flirtation and harassment, and it's been used for comic effect in movies and television shows.
"Has anyone ever told you that you have the face of a Botticelli and the body of a Degas?" asked Robert Downey Jr. in the 1987 movie "The Pick-Up Artist."
Sure, there are men and women who sometimes do want a quick fling with a passer-by. For them, maybe come-ons and catcalls work.
Still, only in a romantic comedy -- albeit one written and directed by the shrewd and flinty James Toback -- would Downey's character make women swoon. As Chris Rock has noted, "Every time a man's being nice to you, all he's doing is offering d**k."
Which is why would-be lotharios should tread lightly.
"You almost never approach it," said Troy Patterson, Slate's urbane Gentleman Scholar columnist. "Almost always, the guy is going to be making a nuisance of himself. I can't see a reason to ever greet a strange woman with anything more intrusive than a quiet, warm smile."
Women have been saying this for years, of course.
"Street harassment has a negative effect on us all. No single man wants the actions of a few to be attributed to his entire gender, but studies show that male harassers impact victims' perception and reaction to men in general," wrote Katie Baker in a 2010 essay.
Baker observed that one catcaller was caught off-guard when a woman called him on his behavior. The man, abashed, said that he understood: He had sisters, and he wouldn't want them treated the same way.
'Talk to her, not at her'
Baker offers a simple solution: respect.
"There's a huge difference between harassing a woman and trying to start a conversation," she wrote. "Here are some tips: talk to her, not at her. Treat her with respect: be aware of her personal space, ask her how she's doing or what she's reading instead of commenting on her body parts, look at her face instead of her chest. If she ignores you, drops eye contact, or walks away, back off.
"It wasn't rude of you to approach her, but she's not being rude if she doesn't want to keep talking to you, especially if you initiated conversation while she was running an errand, waiting for the bus, or on her computer at a coffee shop."
Manuel Abril, an activist and filmmaker who serves on the board of StopStreetHarassment.org, points out that the problem is one of dehumanization.
"It's not taking (women's) word at face value," he said. "Men are socialized to think that women don't really say what they mean."
Moreover, he adds, society tends to judge women the way they dress.
"We're taught not to see women as human beings on the street," Abril said. "The way they look totally supersedes their humanity."
Opinion: Attention, men: Stop with the catcalls
A way for 'dudes to blow off steam'?
Not all greetings are out of bounds. There is the matter of context, Patterson says.
Early-morning runners and dog-walkers may offer courteous "good mornings" to one another as if they're part of a big club, while doormen and shopkeepers don't lose points for an appropriate, welcoming attitude.
But commenting on a woman's form as she walks past? Not acceptable. Even the reaction men sometimes see -- a smile -- can be a defense mechanism to get the comments to stop, says Abril.
So why make comments at all?
"Catcalling is, in general, a way to relieve boredom during a dull workday and establish 'hey we are all straight!' amongst guys working together," a "Guysourcing" contributor explained to Jezebel. "It wasn't an attempt to hit on the woman or to be threatening. It was just a way for the dudes to blow off a bit of steam and be like 'We are men!' "
On the Reddit thread, which has drawn more than 6,500 comments, one man observed that lack of respect knows no gender.
"As a fat guy who once walked around NYC for a day sightseeing I got so many comments," he wrote. "'Lose weight, ###***e!' 'Hey fatty want me to buy you a hot dog?' 'Hey kill yourself you fat f***' I would have been happy with just a 'good morning.' "
In the right context, so would most people.
"If your baseline value is showing respect to all people, everything will be OK," Patterson said.
El Floppo
Footballguy
Sabertooth
Footballguy
Sabertooth
Footballguy
Do you also avoid eye contact with attractive women? Sheesh. How about looking over when they pass you in your Prius?
Rick James
Footballguy
she looks hot to me
STEADYMOBBIN 22
Footballguy
pantagrapher
Footballguy
Let's help women out by draining the term "sexual harrassment" of all its meaning.
shadyridr
Footballguy
me tooshe looks hot to me
dickey moe
Fingerpicker
parasaurolophus
Footballguy
Clifford
Footballguy
Or we could just ignore women completely. Take all game out of it and see how they respond to "hi I find you attractive but I realize this does not mean you welcome my advances. Is it permissible to speak with you? Please know you can refuse without fear of being bothered by me."
Yeah, that's hot.
I wouldn't say racist but if these guys were all wall street guys in nice suits, her reaction would definitely be different.
El Floppo
Footballguy
Henry Ford
Footballguy
So is creepily walking next to a woman for five minutes after she refuses to acknowledge you. Hot.
Clifford
Footballguy
I'm not being sarcastic. And I don't support creepy behavior as has been made fairly clear. Men that do this kinda crap are cheesy losers. I say full stop to it all. I think all men who care should have a 100 day campaign where no advance is made to women of any kind whatsoever. Call it 100 days of peace. Our gift to women. And it should extend beyond the street and the bar. Internet, everywhere. No pick up lines, flirting, lurid jokes, liking photos, nothing. For 100 solid days.
pantagrapher
Footballguy
Jackstraw
Footballguy
Arizona Ron
Footballguy
Most of these guys were just street vendors trying to get her attention to buy stuff.
