I was diagnosed about 12 years ago. Right before my diagnosis, my lack of time management, forgetfulness, procrastination, impulsivity and lack of filtering my words were becoming too much of an issue with 2 kids under 5 yrs old, and a 3rd on the way. Growing up with only my mother, I did great in school (thru high school). And since I got good grades, and being a latchkey kid, I didn't see my procrastination as a problem (mom wasn't around to keep me on track). I'd have weeks to complete a project or finish reading a required book, and I'd wait until 3-4 days until deadline, and I'd pull it together, and do great. I just got accustomed to operating that way. Then in college, the necessity of long study sessions hit me like a ton of bricks. I just couldn't focus and stay on task. My mindset was that I'm not looking to go to grad school, or pursue a career in medicine or law, so I only needed to do enough to get the diploma. So, again, I was able to work around, or make do with, my undiagnosed issues.
I am not an outwardly hyperactive person. I am pretty reserved and introverted. So I didn't think I had ADHD (or it never came up as me having it) because all of the other kids that I knew growing up that had it were bouncing off the walls, getting into trouble at school, etc.
Then, I got married, bought a house, had kids, and started having real adult responsibilities. And, I just couldn't handle it well. I wanted to drink and smoke, go out and socialize, make VBD spreadsheets for fantasy football, sit around and watch TV. It didn't occur to me that we needed to go to Target, then Safeway, clean the house, work in the yard, all while managing the sleep patterns of our babies. My undiagnosed issues were starting to pile up. My wife would recognize that I wasn't motivated or managing my time well, and tried to help by making schedules and To Do lists for me, but it still wasn't helping. However, I did and still do perform well at work. I have received promotions and accolades, and have been in the same industry with only two different employers for over 18 years. If I can do that, surely I'm not someone with ADHD.
So, after many "conversations" about my role/"performance" at home (You can do so well at work, yet at home it's a totally different story), we agreed that I would pursue a diagnosis.
And sure enough, I have adult ADHD. Yes, I don't think I have the "H" component, but I have come to learn that staying up late, really late, like 1-2am every night, was how the hyperactivity component that I didn't think I possessed displayed itself. I also fidget a lot. Nervous ticks like cracking my knuckles, adjusting my eyeglasses, moving one of my thumbs that is double-jointed, minor squirming while seated, adjusting my watch on my wrist, etc. Nothing overt, but constantly running in the background.
I was started on 5mg of Adderall XR. It worked well, as my wife and I both noticed a change in focus and motivation. I increased the dosage because I wanted to get even better results. Eventually, I think I made it up to 20mg (maybe it was 15mg). Then, we started to notice that I was having "rage" issues. Whenever we'd get into arguments, or I was confronted about something I was supposed to have done but didn't, I would respond by being defensive and rude, deflecting the attention, blaming my wife, raising my voice, slamming things like drawers and doors. So, I stopped Adderall XR and moved to Concerta (also in the stimulant family). It was ok with respects to focus, but gave me terrible headaches. My next "magic" pill was Strattera (it is a non-stimulant). I was also prescribed Wellbutrin because I was showing symptoms of mild depression (it's also supposed to help with focus, and is ok to pair with Strattera). The two worked ok for focus, but to a lesser extent than the results I was getting from either Adderall XR or Concerta. So, I stopped all ADHD meds for a while (stayed on Wellbutrin). I have started taking Vyvanse along with Wellbutrin. They are both working well, but I'm still feeling like they're not the "cocktail" of pills that are just right for me. But, I'll stay on them, because a medicated me is better than unmedicated.
Twelve years later, I still need To Do lists that are prioritized and time-allotted. I still procrastinate and display all of the symptoms that I displayed before... just to a lesser extent.
My next battle is to combat my narcissicistic tendencies. Feel free to pm me with any questions.
Glad to have finally gotten a diagnosis at least - probably something I could have (or should have) done years ago.
